Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
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You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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