Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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