i wish starbucks made bloody marys
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize