At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
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Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
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It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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