So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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