I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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