I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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