ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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