i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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