Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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