guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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