I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
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He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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