scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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