saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm getting married
To pizza
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize