i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize