woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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