Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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