I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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