just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize