shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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