Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
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I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
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So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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