I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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