I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
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Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
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She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
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