I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
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His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
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Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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