Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize