Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize