So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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