I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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