Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize