Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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