Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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