At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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