after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize