Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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