i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize