i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
honey bunches of taint.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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