I want to walk on stilts...naked
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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