Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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