The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
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you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
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True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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