I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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