I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize