What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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