No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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