party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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