my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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