You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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