we're blogging at a bar
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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