Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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