a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize