You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
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